Are you happy?

There were so many things, good things, that came into my life as a result of working with children and families every single day, Monday-Friday, 10+ hours a day for 13 years.  The countless giggles, the priceless ah-hah moments, the tears wiped dry, the smell of newborn babes snuggled in my arms as well as the relationships formed with parents and families are all positive memories of my life as a child care provider.  And this work led to a comfortable lifestyle for our family.

But, honestly, day-to-day, I was stressed out, overtired, emotional and by the end of the day, I had nothing, I mean NOTHING, left to give to my own family.  Although I kept trying to be happy, I knew, even after my weight-loss and new part-time work (which I loved) as a personal trainer, I was just not happy.  At all.  My calendar was jam packed and they say a busy life is a good life. I was busy.  I had a good life.  But there were things about my day that I just dreaded. 

About a year ago, I put this picture up on my phone as the background: 

I knew I had to change something.  I just didn't know what.  I prayed a lot.  My husband prayed a lot.  I think I expected a flash and a thunderbolt to direct me where I was supposed to go.  Let me tell you, that didn't happen. 

Instead I took small steps.  One foot in front of the other.  I opened doors.  Peaked around corners.  Made little changes.  Over time, I became more brave and bolder in my prayer and in the changes I was willing to make in my life. 

 

And today I walked out of the gym at 7am.  The sun was shining, the air was crisp yet and I thought:  I am happy!  Finally!  There is nothing about my day that I dread.  Finally, I feel like I have enough to give back to my family at night.  Finally, I'm excited about each and every new opportunity that comes to me. 

 

I just want to encourage you.  If you feel that unhappiness in your life, do not give up.  Keep making those small forward lunges (eh-hem, my exercise reference) and eventually you will find that big change to a happy life. 

 

And you know what?  I'm not done making those small changes.  I'm not done moving forward.  The decision to lose weight was the very first small step I made.  The decision to step back from my career as a child care provider was the single biggest decision I've yet made.  Even in all the uncertainty, it sure feels great to be happy and know that I am helping others along the way.