But, honestly, day-to-day, I was stressed out, overtired, emotional and by the end of the day, I had nothing, I mean NOTHING, left to give to my own family. Although I kept trying to be happy, I knew, even after my weight-loss and new part-time work (which I loved) as a personal trainer, I was just not happy. At all. My calendar was jam packed and they say a busy life is a good life. I was busy. I had a good life. But there were things about my day that I just dreaded.
About a year ago, I put this picture up on my phone as the background:
I knew I had to change something. I just didn't know what. I prayed a lot. My husband prayed a lot. I think I expected a flash and a thunderbolt to direct me where I was supposed to go. Let me tell you, that didn't happen.
Instead I took small steps. One foot in front of the other. I opened doors. Peaked around corners. Made little changes. Over time, I became more brave and bolder in my prayer and in the changes I was willing to make in my life.
And today I walked out of the gym at 7am. The sun was shining, the air was crisp yet and I thought: I am happy! Finally! There is nothing about my day that I dread. Finally, I feel like I have enough to give back to my family at night. Finally, I'm excited about each and every new opportunity that comes to me.
I just want to encourage you. If you feel that unhappiness in your life, do not give up. Keep making those small forward lunges (eh-hem, my exercise reference) and eventually you will find that big change to a happy life.
And you know what? I'm not done making those small changes. I'm not done moving forward. The decision to lose weight was the very first small step I made. The decision to step back from my career as a child care provider was the single biggest decision I've yet made. Even in all the uncertainty, it sure feels great to be happy and know that I am helping others along the way.
