Day 1

Forgive me the quick writing...I'm want to record my day today, but I'm too tired to do so creatively.  :-)

So, today was my first official day as a stay-at-home mom.  I was so busy that it's now 9:25pm and I might have enough time to write this post.  I didn't have time to check my emails or even hop of facebook.  This must be what it's like to be engaged in the day instead of wondering when it will ever end.

Anyways.

I woke, like any other day at 4:35am and went to the gym where I did work one training session prior to getting in my own workout. 

But then I got home.  Usually I'd run up to shower, change and get ready for the day, coming downstairs only as the kiddos were leaving for school. Instead, today, I could help with the breakfast, sit down and chat with the family and enjoy a little time together for the day began.

I spent most of the day painting.  Yes, the day after I closed my child care I decided to turn my living room into something other than a daycare room.  So all weekend has been a painting spree.

Here's a sneak peak:  The color palette I found, the colors I chose to work with and a little fun that I had today. By the way, my 3 year old made sure that mommy knew it was NOT OKAY TO WRITE ON THE WALLS!! She was pretty sure that Daddy was going to be really mad!

My youngest and I went out for a walk today, played in the yard, picked up sticks for a project, did some puzzles and wow, did the day go quickly. 

I was able to go to my oldest's softball game.  ON TIME! And the day ended with another training session at the gym. 

All-in-all it was a pretty awesome day. 

Are you happy?

There were so many things, good things, that came into my life as a result of working with children and families every single day, Monday-Friday, 10+ hours a day for 13 years.  The countless giggles, the priceless ah-hah moments, the tears wiped dry, the smell of newborn babes snuggled in my arms as well as the relationships formed with parents and families are all positive memories of my life as a child care provider.  And this work led to a comfortable lifestyle for our family.

But, honestly, day-to-day, I was stressed out, overtired, emotional and by the end of the day, I had nothing, I mean NOTHING, left to give to my own family.  Although I kept trying to be happy, I knew, even after my weight-loss and new part-time work (which I loved) as a personal trainer, I was just not happy.  At all.  My calendar was jam packed and they say a busy life is a good life. I was busy.  I had a good life.  But there were things about my day that I just dreaded. 

About a year ago, I put this picture up on my phone as the background: 

I knew I had to change something.  I just didn't know what.  I prayed a lot.  My husband prayed a lot.  I think I expected a flash and a thunderbolt to direct me where I was supposed to go.  Let me tell you, that didn't happen. 

Instead I took small steps.  One foot in front of the other.  I opened doors.  Peaked around corners.  Made little changes.  Over time, I became more brave and bolder in my prayer and in the changes I was willing to make in my life. 

 

And today I walked out of the gym at 7am.  The sun was shining, the air was crisp yet and I thought:  I am happy!  Finally!  There is nothing about my day that I dread.  Finally, I feel like I have enough to give back to my family at night.  Finally, I'm excited about each and every new opportunity that comes to me. 

 

I just want to encourage you.  If you feel that unhappiness in your life, do not give up.  Keep making those small forward lunges (eh-hem, my exercise reference) and eventually you will find that big change to a happy life. 

 

And you know what?  I'm not done making those small changes.  I'm not done moving forward.  The decision to lose weight was the very first small step I made.  The decision to step back from my career as a child care provider was the single biggest decision I've yet made.  Even in all the uncertainty, it sure feels great to be happy and know that I am helping others along the way.

1 girlfriend and 1 new friend

Yikes, it's been a while again. 

Today's the big day!  My li'l boy is 9!  We had a great party with family last night.  The best part was when he blew out his birthday candles and oops, there was one candle left!  Ohhhh--one girlfriend!  He even named her.  HA!

Yesterday was an 'ah-ha' day for me.  You know how you are out and about in the community and see a family and say, "Yes, them, they have it all together...I want to be like that!"  Well, I had a family picked out at church about whom I thought this. 

She, the mom, approached me yesterday after services to talk about some things she saw regarding the kettlebell trainings I do.  As we got to talking, she opened up about how this was their first year on one income and how it's been really tough.  I was so wrong about them, as I thought she was a stay-at-home-mom all along and I envied her ability to spend time with her kiddos doing all the things moms should have time to do.  I was 100% surprised when she told me she'd been working all these years and that this was her 1st year as a SAHM. They are struggling to make ends meet.

But her words of encouragement were what I needed to hear.  The Lord provides.  Always. He gives you the means to work out the kinks and in the end, this will be a wonderful decision for the family.  And now I have a connection with someone I had put on a pedestal and thought unapproachable; maybe even made a new friend.  It made me feel better to know we aren't the only ones, I guess, and to know there's someone else who does understand. 

A short, but honest post

I'm in a very good mood.  Not struggling emotionally at all with this transition to being a stay-at-home-mom. But I'm feeling a little frustrated 'cause I'm going to have to draw money out of savings to cover the bills this month. There, I admitted it.  My weekly income has been cut by just over 75% for the past 2 weeks.  Now, to be fair, I am paying off some store credit cards that I usually hold a small balance on and I have not yet cut our monthly bills as they are still tax deductions until I'm officially done with child care. 

I just have to give myself permission to be patient with me without getting lazy and never making the changes I need to make. 

But in the light of the events yesterday, I'm thankful to be alive, to have a healthy body not ravaged by a maniac's garbage can bombing tyraid, to have family safe and close-by and to know that my Lord and Savior is in charge of this all!

April Snowstorm of 2013

I'm sure this day will go down in the record books.  6+" of snow on April 11, 2013. 

I am really going to like this stay-at-home mom stuff, though.  Today was like practice for when it happens for real.

I am not-so-wimpy!

I am a not-so-wimpy-mom because I have been resisting bowls of these which have been making a home on my kitchen counter since Easter Sunday.

And because I had to use this doo-dad to unlock that door-handle of this bathroom door that my 3 y/o locked from the outside.

 

And because I'm even considering this:

 

 

The operative word is CONSIDERING!  A Tri is on my bucket list, I'm just not so sure this is the right time to try it out.  Like the pun? 

 

And we mustn't forget the epic winter storm we're going through in Minnesota right now.  Snowfalls of 6-12 inches predicted for our area.  It's April -- I think that makes me Not-So-Wimpy!

 

 



A moment captured

Here we are, the 9th day of April and most of Minnesota is under some degree of Winter Storm Warning.  Lovely.

Yesterday this crazy kid and I had some outside fun. We found some buds on trees.  Saw some birds.  Watched the bus come down the road and we both jumped when the bus driver honked at us.  These are the moments I want to cherish.  There will only be more of these moments in the upcoming days and months. 

But here's when she looks the sweetest. And I actually thought far enough ahead to capture the moment.  I could photograph her all day, as long as she's sleeping.  Otherwise. getting her to be still is next to impossible!